Everything we do at PUA ACADEMY is based on the real world, not just theory or based on magazines. And one thing that happens is the real world is that men see a beautiful woman and then freeze out.
It doesn’t; matter if you’re rich, a fighter pilot, or a police officer, a broker – it happens to most men. This is why many guys go to bars and get drunk before having the courage to approach women.
It’s easy to make excuses not to approach someone. But you have to get used to doing this, ideally without alcohol. There’s no way around this, but we will help you through the process.
First, I’ll tell you a bit about my personal history. Before I learned to approach, I broke up with my fiancé then I went out the club to find a new and hot woman. But I was stunned. I don’t freaking know what I do. I was blank. I remember, I talked to a blond chick but it ended up the conversation.
A few weeks later, I was out to try all materials I learned in bootcamp with Mystery. I started to be good at approaching. I can approach different sets or girls with guys. And it was smooth. They never know that I was hitting on them.
Then,
What I realized was opening is a skill, not a personality test.
You as a person can no more be rejected by a woman during your opener than the game of basketball could reject you because you missed a shot.
Practice the shot – or the opener – and you will succeed.
Go out somewhere where people don’t know you and use a ridiculous opener – one that you expect would not work. Do it 10 times. You will not die. You will simply internalize into your brain the relationship between a poor approach and its rejection. And that’s the worst that can happen to you.
Then learn to approach properly – through the Smooth Seduction, through Transformation of Chodamon DVD set – and go through the learning process. You know you can survive the worst-case scenario, and it’s only going to get better.
I’ll include a couple more tips for dealing with approach anxiety.
Think of your first couple approaches in a night as “warm ups”. Most people generally need to ease into the process of being social with strangers.
Create incentives. Very few people like approaching. Some people set targets of a certain number of approaches per day or per week. Others take it a step further and create systems to reward themselves if they succeed or punish themselves if they fail. For example, you could go out with a friend and give him P200 and have him pay you P20 every time you opened someone new. Or tell your friend not to drive you home until you’ve approached 10 new groups.
Set a goal for yourself. I tell guys who train with me to approach at least five women or groups whom they don’t know every day. Getting into those kinds of habits breeds skill – and results.
One final warning – opinion openers are good for nighttime venues where you don’t have much of a connection with a woman or she’s a total stranger. They are not the best way to start a conversion with a woman at the mall or a coffee shop, at a party where everyone knows someone in common, or at work. These are different social contexts and we explain how these work in Smooth Seduction.